My Third Ear

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

My Third Ear-My Special Friend Lauri Cabe

This first posted in 2014: 
Some stories are worth repeating. My friend Lauri lives in Washington and I live in Oregon now. Too far apart to spend physical time together, but once or twice a week we call. Sometimes we talk only one hour, but this week, we spent two hours on the phone. How do we find so much to share? Good friends never run out of words or laughter. 

Dear Lauri,

Maybe 1999 
Most people are blessed with two ears. 
Me, I have three. The ones placed on either side of my head at birth work well. Then, in 1992, a year of struggle through life with Husband after his emotional, physical and mental breakdown I found you, my third ear. 
You listened. 
When I cried, you cried. When I kicked a door you stood aside and let me.  When I stopped by your place and said, “Go shopping with me,” you let me spend money without admonishing me. (We both knew my budget didn’t leave money for even second hand stores.) On the day after a shopping spree when I whined that I spent too much, you listened and laughed.
When I needed exercise you walked with me.  When I needed space from husband you drove over, picked me up, took me to coffee and listened to my non-stop prattle about my disintegrating marriage. 
Yet, when I threatened to leave Husband, while he struggled through the trauma after his breakdown, you said, “No.” 
In most instances you refrained from giving me your opinion. When my staying or leaving hung in the balance, you tipped the scales.
“You don’t want to leave. Not now. He’s not well. Give him space and time,”
About that time, no matter if we were in a coffee shop or at home, Husband would show up. He’d tell a nutty joke and you’d laugh at him. Through his nonsense and your laughter, I saw a glimmer of hope. A man that courld make my friend laugh couldn't be all bad.
Lauri, Me and Husband's Fun Nebraska Pickup
Somewhere in those years I heard a speaker say, “Everyone needs a safe person to listen to them.  A trusted individual that will allow one to run off at the mouth and they continue to love you anyway.” 

Do you remember when Husband showed up with huge plastic ears for you? He knew the importance of you being in my life in those tumultuous years. 
God placed you in my world, my precious friend. You are my third ear.
When I wrote this letter we'd been married forty-three years. Husband had recovered from his breakdown and truly listened to me.   


Thank you for loving both of us,
Kat

Special note for my readers: Husband and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary before he died of a sudden heart attack in 2009. We enjoyed several trips from Nebraska to Oregon and Washington, along the way we stopped to see Lauri.
Lauri in Enterprise Park

Lauri in the Lodge at Enterprise Park where we ate lunch 
Four years after Gary's death,  Lauri became my driver.  She drove me over 1600 miles through the northwest while I spoke in places where Gary ministered. 

On our journey, I talked Lauri's ear off and you know what? She still likes me.J


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