Where Do We Learn the Art of Caregiving?

Mom, age 86, my caregiver through
breast cancer. Loving her rootbeer
and being able to hear TV clearly. 2010

Grudge no expense—

yield to no opposition—

forget fatigue—

till, by the strength of prayer and sacrifice,

the spirit of love shall have overcome.

~Marie Weston Chapman

Thousands of people attend college to become a caregiver. Not me, I learned the “art of caregiving” from my mom.

When my Uncle Larry’s wife died in a car accident, she left behind 5 children under the age of five. Mom left Dad and me in charge of my younger siblings and she drove a hundred miles south to stay with my uncle and help with his kids.

When a limb fell from a tree and hit my Uncle Tommy in the head no one expected him to live, but he did. He suffered massive brain damage. Mom volunteered to stay with Aunt Elnora and help Uncle Tommy recover—a real challenge for both my aunt and my mom. I remember Mom talking about how she helped teach him to count again—she played cards with him for hours.

When my grandfather struggled with emphysema, Mom often drove the hundred miles south and stayed with Grandma and Grandpa. My grandmother didn’t drive.  Mom helped with grocery shopping and doctors visits—she also became good company for both of them.

When mom didn’t have a relative to take care of, she often visited the shut-in up the road or sent plates of food and homemade bread to those who were too sick to take care of the family.  

And Dad, well that’s another story.

Still Lionhearted, Kat

WHO ARE YOU TEACHING TO DANCE?

The Sun Comes After the Rain
photo by Kat 2007

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.

It's about learning to dance in the rain.

“How do you keep going?” Toby asked me when I took care of Husband after hot pulp from a paper mill digester had spewed over his body. At the time, I didn’t think about it. I did the necessary—took care of two elementary aged girls, four-year-old son and of course, a man in horrendous pain.

“How do you keep going?” Laurie asked me twenty-three years later when Husband suffered a nervous breakdown. I answered her with a lot of screaming and yelling. Laurie had become my ear, my listener and walking buddy. Several times a week she picked me up, we drove to the river and walked the boardwalk. I bawled, complained, yelled, cried and finally wound down before Laurie drove me home. By the time I arrived home, I once again committed myself to love and take care of the man I didn’t understand.

“How do you keep going?” Debbie asked me ten years later when doctors diagnosed Husband with a rare cancer, pseudomyxoma peritonei, which originated in his appendix. I shrugged, knowing I wasn’t coping well, but hiding my fear and anxiety from family, friends and Husband.

The obvious answer to each question was, “I pray for wisdom and peace every day. I ask the Lord to give me the strength to get through the necessary and have enough energy left over to have fun.” But now I understand more than the obvious.

When Mom took care of me through six months of breast cancer treatment, I realized why I could keep going—because Mom did. From my childhood I'd watched her take care of others. She modeled the role of caregiver before me.

All of us are teaching others to laugh, live and love whether we know it or not.

Still Lionhearted, Kat 

IMPORTANT LETTERS BEHIND MY NAME

Nazarene Bible College, Colorado Springs, CO

God doesn't call the qualified, HE qualifies the called.

I’m a graduate with degrees. My college education consisted of two years of college courses teaching me to be the preacher’s best wife and three years of training as church pianist.

Mrs. G. B. Williamson and Nazarene Bible College honored me with a PW—Preachers Wife Certificate . Someplace I still have it, although it never hung on the wall. Those years of training served me well during our years of ministry. 

My apartment complex neighbors in Colorado Springs can attest to my earning every bit of my HPC—Hymn Playing Certificate. Every day I practiced for hours in our apartment complex. Four years later when our second church needed a pianist, Husband said, “You have the degree, you can do it.” And I did.

There are those other degrees I hold also. My PHT came with great honor when Husband graduated. I had worked at JC Penney, babysitting, teaching cake decorating and typing for five college students by the time he graduated. I earned every letter of my PHT—Put Hubby Through.

I think the hardest earned degree is one Husband said I earned—my DDSHK—Doctrine of Divinity from the School of Hard Knocks.

One of the toughest assignments arrived at my door when circumstances said, “To graduate from this SHK course, you will work 24/7, exercise the patience of Job, and develop a new measure of grace and forgiveness. When you graduate, your title of “Caregiver” will be imprinted on your heart and soul forever.”  

Still Lionhearted, Kat 

Retro Piano Keys--They look like my old upright piano keys.
www.freedigitalphotos.com 

Most Patients Need a Medical Advocate

Enjoy a Threesome

My sister Karla has suffered with a knee problem for over a year. She’s had surgery. Been on crutches. Walked with a cane. More surgery—the doctor scraped the bone. No relief from swelling or pain.

She’s seen a family practice doctor, a surgeon, an orthopedic surgeon, an infectious disease doctor. She’s spent time in the hospital with IV’s and at home with home health and more IV’s. I can’t remember how many doctors have tried to drain the fluid from her knee. Several put the icky fluid in a Petri dish to grow—trying to find the cause of the problem.

Nothing grows.

When Karla’s knee swelled to horrific proportions, the orthopedic doctor said, “Probably more surgery, but I’m sending you to a rheumatologist first.”

My sister Karen and Lil, Karla’s friend, accompanied Karla to the new doctor appointment. All three ladies fell in love with the doctor.

“He’s just wonderful. He said he has absolutely no idea what my problem is, but he didn’t recommend surgery again.” No wonder Karla liked him.

Lil and Karen are still Karla’s advocates. Between the two they remember everything Karla complains about between appointments and then share the details with the doctor.

At the last appointment the doctor asked Karla why she didn’t call him when she had a problem. She shrugged. The doctor turned to Lil and Karen. “Here’s my card. If she says anything about the pain, swelling or whatever….call me. We are going to figure this out—together.”

My two-cents: Never be ashamed to ask someone to attend a doctor visit with you. 

Crawford's Smoothie

REMEMBER, AS KATIE FROM NO NAME NUTRITION SAYS, THIS IS JUST A SUGGESTION. 

It did work for husband. He had lost from 240 to 153 while struggling with Psuedomyxoma Peritonei (PMP). A few weeks after his surgery at Creighton University, I drove husband to No Name in West Omaha. Katie looked at husband and said, "This is what I'd do...." So we followed her advice and husband started to gain weight.

Protein Smoothie:

:
1 Cup rice milk
1 banana
1 heaping teaspoon ALL ONE POWDER multiple vitamins and Minerals.
1 Tablespoon Udo oil
1 heaping scoop of rice or whey protein*
2 Tablespoons hydrolyzed collagen protein*

Pour the rice milk in a blender, add banana and pulse. Add powder and UDO oil. Then the proteins. If you use the Tablespoon for the oil and then the hydrolyzed protein, the hp will come off the spoon easier.

Not sure husband’s tummy could stand the oatmeal in the beginning, but eventually he added about 2/3rds cup steel cut or hard oats and then blended on high.

About the time Katie suggested the above smoothie a doctor listed a similar recipe in a Sunday Parade. His didn't have the extra protein, but he added all that other stuff and feeds it to his kids every morning.

Also, husband used Barley Max. Sometimes he added 2 spoons to his shake. Healthy, healthy stuff.

*I use rice protein --I'm allergic to so much stuff. Husband likes vanilla whey.
Hydrolyzed Collagen is by Twinlab LPP regular (contains predigested whey protein)"

*Use rice or almond milk (not soy. Soy is too hard to digest and remember, no dairy.)