Learn to Breathe Again

"Three days, three weeks, three months," an unemotional oncologist diagnosed my husband’s condition. "Our team of researchers has found no treatment for Pseudomyxoma Peritonei—PMP is a rare cancer."

The oncologist did not examine me, the wife. But from the first prediction of my husband's numbered days, my form of cancer titled fear began its deterioration on my health. Fear ate at my insides constantly.

A year later, Gary still alive, we found Dr. Brian Loggie, a PMP specialist, only five miles from our home. He performed a 12 hour surgery on Gary in February 2004. In the months following, Gary limped around like a weak puppy until Dr. Loggie suggested he ride a bike. 

By the end of that summer, Gary rode his bike 25 miles a day. His activity helped chase away my fear—I knew he’d live forever.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2009: Gary died suddenly of a heart attack. Now I faced a new me, a single woman in a couple’s world. A different me also battling breast cancer alone.

Fear of my financial future crippled me. I let my singlehood leave me vulnerable. The aftermath of breast cancer surgery kept me physically distraught. And my grief overwhelmed me.

To survive I realized I needed to face life. Others have survived alone and left their fears behind. 

My advice to me and others: 

Challenge yourself to face each day with a smile.

Allow yourself to learn new things and breathe again. 

Praise God for each breath you take.

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.”

Psalm 150:6 NIV

More of Gary's PMP story is found in 

Capsules of Hope: Survival Guide for Caregivers 

(found on Amazon)

Photo by Ali Yahya on Unsplash

Our Crowning Glory

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Four years and three months ago life looked a little different. The day my doctor said, “You need to see a surgeon,” I drove across town to a building with BIG BOLD SCARY letters on top. I called Teresa.

“You gotta start praying, this building says CANCER CLINIC in huge letters. I don’t think this is about me, but the book.” I’m sure I said more, but whatever. I told Teresa I knew the book I’d just published, “Capsules of Hope: Survival Guide for Caregivers” needed to be in every doctors office in town. So my visit inside this clinic had to do with the book—not me. Even then I didn’t think I had cancer.

A week later the surgeon handed out her diagnosis. “Its cancer—an aggressive cancer.” It still amazes me—that prophetic phone call—“Teresa, this isn’t about me—it’s about the book.”

Wow.

Daughter Marcy captured me in my foil bonnet—just one of many head coverings I’d wear in the next few months. Husband, well he loved me bald and at home I didn’t worry about wigs, bonnets or hats. But I grieved the loss of my hair.

Of course, before I lost my hair husband drove me to Bravado’s wig store. Before he sat down, husband said, “I’ve always wanted to be married to a blonde. Do you think you can help me out?” Sharon, the wonderful clerk laughed at that request and all the rest of husband’s nonsense while there. I walked out the door with two wigs—one brunette an one blonde—along with a couple other head coverings and an adorable hat.   

Six weeks later Sharon asked if I might share about “Capsules of Hope” and my breast cancer journey at Bravados.

I did and look at this? I ended up with a pink wig.

The wonderful news is I survived breast cancer—maybe I didn’t recover as quickly as others, but I am cancer free. When my hair grew back in I decided I’d never dye it again. After all, Proverbs 16:31 says, Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.

Well Life really isn't about me. But enjoy the photos anyway. 

Prayer: Thank you for bringing me through the tough times and although I still feel like husband left me too soon, he encouraged me through those first few weeks. He helped me accept my baldness. He also promoted “Capsules of Hope”—funny guy he was, he’d tell everyone it was a good book because after all, it was about him. And Lord,  never forget him snuggling in behind me at night. He thought I was already asleep, but often I heard him pray over me. I feel so blessed to be alive and able to share Jesus, my Savior and Redeemer with others. Thank you, God. Amen