My Third Ear-My Special Friend Lauri Cabe

This first posted in 2014: 

Some stories are worth repeating. My friend Lauri lives in Washington and I live in Oregon now. Too far apart to spend physical time together, but once or twice a week we call. Sometimes we talk only one hour, but this week, we spent two hours on the phone. How do we find so much to share? Good friends never run out of words or laughter. 

Dear Lauri,

Maybe 1999 

Most people are blessed with two ears. 
Me, I have three. The ones placed on either side of my head at birth work well. Then, in 1992, a year of struggle through life with Husband after his emotional, physical and mental breakdown I found you, my third ear. 
You listened. 

When I cried, you cried. When I kicked a door you stood aside and let me.  When I stopped by your place and said, “Go shopping with me,” you let me spend money without admonishing me. (We both knew my budget didn’t leave money for even second hand stores.) On the day after a shopping spree when I whined that I spent too much, you listened and laughed.

When I needed exercise you walked with me.  When I needed space from husband you drove over, picked me up, took me to coffee and listened to my non-stop prattle about my disintegrating marriage. 
Yet, when I threatened to leave Husband, while he struggled through the trauma after his breakdown, you said, “No.” 

In most instances you refrained from giving me your opinion. When my staying or leaving hung in the balance, you tipped the scales.

“You don’t want to leave. Not now. He’s not well. Give him space and time,”

About that time, no matter if we were in a coffee shop or at home, Husband would show up. He’d tell a nutty joke and you’d laugh at him. Through his nonsense and your laughter, I saw a glimmer of hope. A man that courld make my friend laugh couldn't be all bad.

Lauri, Me and Husband's Fun Nebraska Pickup

Somewhere in those years I heard a speaker say, “Everyone needs a safe person to listen to them.  A trusted individual that will allow one to run off at the mouth and they continue to love you anyway.” 

Do you remember when Husband showed up with huge plastic ears for you? He knew the importance of you being in my life in those tumultuous years. 

God placed you in my world, my precious friend. You are my third ear.

When I wrote this letter we'd been married forty-three years. Husband had recovered from his breakdown and truly listened to me.   

Thank you for loving both of us,

Kat

Special note for my readers: Husband and I celebrated our 50^th wedding anniversary before he died of a sudden heart attack in 2009. We enjoyed several trips from Nebraska to Oregon and Washington, along the way we stopped to see Lauri.

Lauri in Enterprise Park

Lauri in the Lodge at Enterprise Park where we ate lunch 

Four years after Gary's death,  Lauri became my driver.  She drove me over 1600 miles through the northwest while I spoke in places where Gary ministered. 

On our journey, I talked Lauri's ear off and you know what? She still likes me.J

Learn to Breathe Again

"Three days, three weeks, three months," an unemotional oncologist diagnosed my husband’s condition. "Our team of researchers has found no treatment for Pseudomyxoma Peritonei—PMP is a rare cancer."

The oncologist did not examine me, the wife. But from the first prediction of my husband's numbered days, my form of cancer titled fear began its deterioration on my health. Fear ate at my insides constantly.

A year later, Gary still alive, we found Dr. Brian Loggie, a PMP specialist, only five miles from our home. He performed a 12 hour surgery on Gary in February 2004. In the months following, Gary limped around like a weak puppy until Dr. Loggie suggested he ride a bike. 

By the end of that summer, Gary rode his bike 25 miles a day. His activity helped chase away my fear—I knew he’d live forever.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2009: Gary died suddenly of a heart attack. Now I faced a new me, a single woman in a couple’s world. A different me also battling breast cancer alone.

Fear of my financial future crippled me. I let my singlehood leave me vulnerable. The aftermath of breast cancer surgery kept me physically distraught. And my grief overwhelmed me.

To survive I realized I needed to face life. Others have survived alone and left their fears behind. 

My advice to me and others: 

Challenge yourself to face each day with a smile.

Allow yourself to learn new things and breathe again. 

Praise God for each breath you take.

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.”

Psalm 150:6 NIV

More of Gary's PMP story is found in 

Capsules of Hope: Survival Guide for Caregivers 

(found on Amazon)

Photo by Ali Yahya on Unsplash

Buckets of Hope Arrived

Third Book by Kat Crawford 

How exciting to receive the shipment of 

Buckets of Hope:

Recovery from Grief 

and Loss.

Yes, truly there is moving on after struggling with the changes in life. Not only the loss of my husband but the move from all I had known for twenty-four years, to a new residence in Oregon. Life has changed and you find many of those changes recorded in this, my third book. 

It is hard to believe that in 2009 I published my first book: 

Capsules of Hope: Survival Guide for Caregivers. 

My husband's journey through PMP (Pseudomyxoma Peritonei-cancer of the appendix) fueled the stories of his survival and my caregiving. Even today I wonder how we managed through those horrific days when doctors offered no treatment, no medication, and no hope. 

In 2017 I published:

Dew Drops of Hope: Help for Those Going Through Grief and Loss

My good friend Shirl Hart going through her own journey of grief after her husband of fifty-eights had died, encouraged me to write Dew Drops. I agreed to compile the book if she joined me, and she did. Together with other friends, we brought our stories of survival after a loss. 

All three books are available 

on Amazon.com 

Over the next few weeks, I will share stories of healing, of surviving, of finding hope while going through a major crisis. The stories are real-life glimpses into the lives of those who have been challenged and have witnessed the Hand of God at work in their lives. 

I remain Lionhearted in my everyday journey. 

Chicken Soup Book Signing Sat May 11

The Lionhearted Kat Crawford 

Book signing event:

Chicken Soup: 

Mom Knows Best 

at 

Rainbow West Christian Supply

Valley River Center Mall

550 Valley River Center, Eugene, OR 

Saturday, May 11th

11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Also 

Kat is signing her book:

Dew Drops of Hope: Help for Those Going Through Grief and Loss

Stop by and say Hello

Hear about Kat's next book coming soon:

Buckets of Hope: 

Recovery from Grief and Loss 

Celebrate Freedom to Worship

Deposit Photo 

“I have a paid holiday tomorrow,” my daughter said.

“Which one?” her husband asked.           

“Good Friday before Easter.”

“What is good about Jesus dying?” He frowned.

That is the question, isn’t it? We don’t celebrate the horror of His death, but the wonder of his sacrifice to save us from sin.

Praise the Lord we still have the freedom to celebrate. To participate in Good Friday and share how Jesus suffered and died for my sins and yours.

I praise the Lord for that freedom today. Not everyone can read scripture or even talk about the fact that God sent His only son to die to save us from sin.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)

The portrait looks like the one hanging in my home. My mother-in-law gave it to my husband and me for our wedding—that was 60 years ago. Not an expensive picture or frame, but invaluable in reminder. One of the best things Gary’s mother ever did for us. 

Kat the Writer

Handy Tip from the Lionhearted Kat:

A Lion is a lion is a lion, no matter whether awake or sleeping—

basking in the sunlight or hunting in the dark of night.

“Well, I’d like to be a writer,” a woman said to me at Wordsowers Christian Writers Conference.

“Would like to be? You must be a writer if you are attending a conference,” I said. “What have you written?”

“I just write a short devotional for the church newsletter. I’ve never really published….”

Yeah, well, can you see me? I grabbed her arms. “You are a writer. You are even published. Your newsletter is read by how many?”

Funny, I recalled Debbie Hedstrom from Oregon Christian Writers saying about the same words to me years before. I sat in awe of Debbie—a well-published author.

Up to then, I’d written many devotions for the women in our churches—the three churches where my husband pastored. I never ever gave myself the title “Writer” or “Author.”

After Debbie’s encouragement, I started writing for publication. My friend Bev and I attended a conference where we invited workshop leaders, Steve and Janet Bly to lunch with us. (Yes, we paid for their lunches😊

Janet read one of my stories and said, “I would suggest you change the title to "Secret, Secret Sister and then send this to STANDARD Sunday School handout. You are a good writer.” I did send my story to STANDARD. It published in 1992. 

Wow, what high praise. But guess what? It took four more years before I became wise enough to have business cards made that said, “Kat Crawford, Freelance Author.”

I’m not a wealthy writer, but I know God chose me to share His Word with others. What about you—do you have business cards yet?  

(Please note, This isn't an ad for Vista Print, but I've used their services for years and I am happy with the quality, the level of service and pricing.)
Oh and about "Secret, Secret Sister," I did send my story to STANDARD. It published in 1992. 

Lionhearted Kat the Writer

I Am one Beat Up Rejected Lion 

Most know me as the Lionhearted Kat, but that happened later in life. In 2006 I did feel like this rejected lion. Then someone suggested each writer try for twice as many rejections. The next year I did and guess what? I sold twice as much too. If you submit more, you sell more and sometimes you receive a rejection or two. 

All these years later I've published two books  Capsules of Hope: Survival Guide for Caregivers and my latest book: 

Dew Drops of Hope: Help for Those Going Through Grief and Loss 

And I write for many publications, too.  

My motto: 

YOU CANNOT SELL WHAT YOU DON'T SUBMIT!